Sunday, April 22, 2012

broken...

Do you ever find yourself in such a constant state of transition that you never stay still long enough to form a solid part of yourself?

I'm always so busy wanting to be something different in the future that I never spend any real time being me now. I'm so uncomfortable with everything about myself, wanting to change everything about myself, wanting to make other people happy with who I am, that I can never accept that who I am right now is someone worth being. I'm all mixed up with want vs should, consumed with things I wish I'd done, regret for missed opportunities and crippled by a total inability to focus on what needs to be done. I am so envious of people who have so much determination and drive to achieve their dreams. I want that but I don't think I have it. I want to breathe in wistful, youthful freedom but the wispy fog of inspiration clouds around me, only to be choked on and coughed out. My mother always told me I could be anything I wanted but as I get older I find myself becoming painfully aware that

Life is hard. You bend or you break.

I'm feeling a little broken right now and I don't know which direction I'm suppose to bend.

To everyone else who isn't me,

WASTE NO TIME. BE IN THE MOMENT. KNOW YOUR WORTH. LIVE YOUR DREAMS, WHILE YOU CAN...

Peace. xx

[images- we heart it/ instead of sleeping]

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